The whereabouts of famed Illuminati
scientist and prop artist, Pumpkin Mike,
for four hours Saturday remains a
Pumpkin Mike also know as, Dazzling
Mike, Mike the Switch, Lighting Guy
Mike, Psychedelic Light Show Mike,
Screaming Mike, Hey Mike and Pookie
Bear Cuddly Poo Poo Mike reported to
any one who would listen late Saturday
that he was missing four hours.
Witnesses reported seeing Mike during
the times of 4:30 pm to 8:30pm. The
problem, apparently Mike has six
look-a-likes roaming the planet or he is
able to be in at least six places at once.

Bear with me as we examine the four
confirmed sightings of Pumpkin Mike
during the missing four hours.

Sighting One:
Witness, Jaime V. Front Royal, VA
"I was bowling with my friends from
dance class. We had just worked
ourselves into a smooth sweat. You
know, the kind where if you are holding
someone and the sweat hasn't
reached the BO stage yet so it's kind
of a turn on. SO anyway, I was up. My
friend, Chance, just bowled another
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gutter ball. You know it doesn't matter.
He is so cute when he hefts his balls
down the bowling court. We just love to
watch him.
I looked up at the end of the alley.
There before me was a very tall
bearded gentleman dressed in flowing
clothes, barefoot staring straight at me.
As my ball drew closer to the gutter
this man reached out and like straight
out of a science fiction book he guided
the ball straight into the pins. All but
one fell, but this man calmly walked
over and with a swift gesture of his
finger the pin fell almost as in slow
motion. I turned to my friends to see
what their reaction was, they were
frozen in time. No one of our group
had ever knocked over all ten pins.
I asked them', Did you see that?" I was
breathing so heavy I became quite
excited, if you know what I mean. They
saw the pins fall, but the mysterious
handsome man in the flowing clothes
was gone, no one but me had seen him.
The way I know it was Pumpkin Mike is
simple, as I turned around he smiled at
me in in his hands he held a pumpkin,
glowing and beautiful. I broke down in
tears. Before I was coherent again he
was gone. Needless to say I had to go
home and there he was features on
America's Most Wanted.

Sighting Two:
Witness, Lippy Knerphman
Pittsburg, KS
I was on my bike. Outside town ain't
nothing but old chili cans, a few
cigarette butts, dead trees and a small
bar called Rat's Place.
I pulled in the dirt lot, parked the bike
and was headed in when a tall bearded
man dressed in overalls, no shirt and
sunglasses. How he saw things in the
deep dark outside of town is a mystery
to me.
He spoke. I stopped in my tracks.
'Stay out of this place my friend.' I ask
him why. He smiled and walked into the
darkness of the night. I was stunned.
to continue click the Pumpkin)
Pumpkin Mike's Journey through the
Cosmos Causes Many Religious Leaders
to Call for Sainthood or Something Like It,
but Maybe Not Quite so Serious
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