| During the four hour journey Pumpkin Mike can only offer detail of the effects not the cause of his injuries. He has simply forgotten or forgotten to remember or refused to remember that he has forgotten details of the four hour gap in the tape of his life. The list of boo-boos is long and tedious. The short list is unusual bordering on the bizarre. Slip: Mike you say you lost a kidney during the "lost four hours". PM: It feels like I did. I had only one to begin with. If any body sees my kidney I'd appreciate if they could return it. I can't offer a money reward, but I do a miracle or something for them. Slip: How do you explain the fact you remain alive without kidneys? PM: Well there are two options, one I probably have a couple more somewhere in my body that no one knew about or it is a simple act of God. I say take your pick. Slip: Knowing your reputation as I do you've lead a remarkable life. All things considered explain how you were able to break off your engagement to Jennifer Aniston. The engagement that sent her rebounding into the arms of John Mayer. |
| Slip: Lastly Pumpkin, what's next for you? PM: I plan to find my kidney first. Next I want to start my own power switch light show instructional school. I plan to call it Mike's Light and Switch Instructional Low Residency Masters Program College. Pumpkin Mike's odyssey continues to to fester and grow. We love to love him, baby. Yes we do. His heroics have inspired us. His light shows have caused mind altering hallucinations for many. This latest collection of adventures has added a nice layer of icing on the Pumpkin Mike cake of life. Many of us want to lick that icing and enjoy the triumphs, disasters and mysteries surrounding one of the planets uniques time travelers, mystics and possibly saints, although not quite so serious as a saint but something like it. I know this is not the final story of this complicated man. We will see him simply imbibing in an adult beverage or giving a rousing spiritual dissertation to thousands of pilgrims on the banks of the Indus River. Pumpkin Mike is a hero to all. Story by Slip Witherspill |
| PM: She had funny toenails. Slip: Explain the extent of your other injuries during the "missing four". PM: First and probably foremost are my nether regions. Holy crap are they sore. They're red and rashy and itchy and when I tried taking a nice warm bath the water around me turned green. I now have a tattoo encircling my navel. Unfortunately for me it is a tattoo of a navel. So I have a navel in a navel. I swear I'm growing a third eye on the back of my head. My feet are a strange color. It's not exactly red, pink or mauve but they sort of glimmer at night. It's like one of my light shows. Slip: Pumpkin, can you explain the sightings during the "Lost Four"? PM: No. My mind is totally blank during that period. I had no dreams, no nothing. I can't prove I was alive those four hours. I had a friend, James, say he might have seen me on a roof of a house near downtown. I heard another girl swear I was roller skating over at Mac's Roller Rink. A church group said they saw me give the devotional and actually brought five people to Jesus. I don't remember anything. |
| A Chat with Pumpkin Mike to Describe his Lost Four Hours |