I tried to follow him. All I found in the
parking lot were his overalls, flip flops
and a copy of Hot Melons Magazine.
Suddenly like out of a Sylvester
Stallone movie I heard an explosion.
Rat's Place was on fire.
I ran to the front and standing there
naked and at attention was this
character. He waved his hand and the
flames went out. He waved it again and
the screaming stopped. He waved it
once more and it began to snow. He
waved a last time and said goodbye as
he floated high into the night until he  
was gone. In the very spot he was
standing was a pumpkin. It was lighted
and beautiful.
How did I know it was Pumpkin Mike?
I'm a big fan of "America's Most
Wanted". They  did a special live
feature on him when he was missing
the other night.

Sighting Three:
Jesus Dios, Puerto Vallerta,
Jalisco, Mexico
We were sitting on the beach drinking
American beer. It was called
Yuengling. It tastes a little like chicken
or rattlesnake, but we like it with limes.
The sun was setting and straight from
the ocean comes walking a long man
in a Speedo with his hand outstretched.
He walked up to me and asked for my
beer. Well, no man is going to take my
beer, but I handed it to him. The others
were quiet and motionless. This man
took a long long long swig of my
Yuengling and turned his back. I got
nervous.
He turned looked me deep into the
eyes. His burning eyes penetrated me.
He said', Turn your back, my friend.
Your kindness shall be rewarded
tenfold. You're are now my friend
Jesus. I always wanted to say what a
friend I had in Jesus. After you count to
ten Mississippi's turn around.'
Who are you?I asked. "You will know,'
he said.
I followed his directions.
There were lights and music and a
dizzying array of stimuli. My friends
were on their knees crying. I reached
the fifth Mississippi, turned to see an
illuminated pumpkin and ten cases of
Yuengling bottles.
This man was gone. My friend rose
from the moist sand and we drank that
night. I found out that this man was the
missing Mike from "America's most
Wanted".
I always TiVo it and watch it later.

Sighting Four:
Chippy Lipton, Soledad State Prison
Soledad, CA
I had been in solitary for almost three
straight years. Prison is no fun.
The night I see this Pumpkin Man I am
stretched out on my alleged bunk
counting the specks in the wall before
lights out.
I heard a noise, like a man clearing his
throat. I think it's a hack. No. Inside my
door stood a long tall furry headed
man dressed in ... well it looked to me
he was dressed to go to a prom or
some fancy night out.
I ask him how he got in. He reached
out with his hand to touch me, I'll tell
you this I have been able to avoid that
action in all my years in this hell hole
but I let him touch me. I let him hug me.
We danced cheek to cheek for a few
minutes. He brushed my hair, rubbed
my back and sang show tunes to me. I
was totally like butter in his hands. As I
turned to ask another question his
long slim finger gentle touched my lips.
He smiled. Handed me a lighted
pumpkin then... and I could not believe
my eyes, walked straight through the
wall. Instead of screaming for the
guards or jumping up I just rolled over
and had the best nights sleep in over
ten years.
That morning I woke up to the sound of
the guard telling me I was going to be
free. They were letting me out on
account of another guy confesses to
the theft of the balloons. I was going to
be free. Then I see his face on the
America's Most Wanted. Oy.
The Wrap Up:
These four confirmed sightings go with
hundreds of other reports that same
Saturday. I call these reports miracles.
Hundreds of souls from across the
world had miraculous encounters with
this man during his lost four hours.
Many have reflected and adjusted their
lives because of his kindness, his
extemporaneous light shows, his gifts
of Yuengling beer and back rubs.
Pumpkin Mike has now become the
Jonhnny Appleseed of love, beer and
happiness.
What we do not know or will never
know is how he does it. The mystery of
the "Man of Miracles" will only grow as
will his gifts and beer to personkind. I
know tonight I will seek out Pumpkin
Mike and try to sit close as I can to him.
Jesus Dios reported seeing
Pumpkin Mike on a beach and was
left with a generous gift of ten
Yuengling cases of beer.
Chippy Lipton, Soledad inmate,
received dancing, back rubs and
freedom as a result of Pumpkin's
visit.
Lippy Knerphman was saved from a
fiery bar fire explosion.
Dance instructor and part time bowler,
Jaime V. (third from left) was given his
first strike and someone to dream about
on lonely nights.
Story by LSL Staff Reporter
Hornwinkle Bladder

Photos by LSL Staff Photographer
Muffy Brinkman
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