We are proud to present
Mrs. and Mr. Scarlet Johansson
A Huge Lucky Star Lounge Announcement
from the LSL News Bureau
Click the
Scarlet
for a treat.
UPDATE
Did Scarlett Johansson Run to Mexico
with Film Bad Boy Sean Penn?
Lucky Star Lounge Day Manager Left Days After Huge
Commitment Bash

A distraught Gary Duane Vaughan reportedly refuses to give up
hope that the starlet will toss over Madonna's ex and return
home to his cuddly embrace.
Friends and Family are Concerned






Vaughan shown outside residence as he waits for screen
sexpot Scarlett Johansson to return home
Vaughan Vows Revenge on Penn
for Stealing His Girl
if he has Time to get Around to It
and There's Nothing Good on TV
Vaughan Decides to Move On
in a Big Way with Hollywood Starlets
Vaughan's new relationship with
sinister singer maven Amy Winehouse
has caused quite a stir. The news
really exploded when they became
engaged and split up four times in one
week.
Currently the couple attends therapy
twice a week maintaining they are
getting married once Vaughan
mentally releases former heartthrob
Johansson and Winehouse rehabs off
several medications.
Week One
Week Two
Week Three
Week Four
More information by
clicking on each photo
The Final Chapter: Gary D. Vaughan and Scarlett Johansson...

and Amy Winehouse and Rita Moreno and Barbra Streisand and Goldie Hawn and Margaret Thatcher and Golda Meir and Totie Fields and
Moms Mabley and the Fabulous Moolah and Dorothy Lamour and Chita Rivera and Danica Patrick and Marjorie Main and Margaret
Hamilton and Jodie Foster and Ellen Degeneres and Rosie O'Donnell and Christine Jorgensen and Ava Gardner and Sharon tate and Lizzy
Borden, Elizabeth Montgomery, Agnes Morehead, Shirley Booth, Imogene Coca, Zero Mostel, Joey Heatherton, Jack Jones, the Shindogs,
Tammy Wynette, Patsy Cline and lastly,  Pennsylvania Drill Team Class of 1984

Gary Duane Vaughan has finally called it officially quits with former love interest and all around shapely movie starlet Scarlett Johanssen.
The final straw that sent Vaughan into a raging love deprived food stuffing, bad joke telling spiral was the report Johanssen, age 25, have
moved into the California estate of elder statesman and "mediocre" actor, Sean Penn, age 50.

Vaughan, age 26, claims he broke up with his starlet girlfriend and encouraged her to make the move into Penn's "broken down sorry ass
hole in the wall mansion when she could have lived here with me and worked as a co-day manager at the Lucky Star Lounge where every
Thursday we serve the best crab cakes in the Valley but she chose to cast her lot in with this old man who can barely act."
Vaughan went on to say ", Really, I can have any woman I want. Really. I mean, look at me. I'm gorgeous. What could she be thinking? She
could be with that or some hunk o' burning love like me!"

He also stated Sean Penn was withered, asexual, looked like comic character Beetle Bailey, had two left hands, could barely breathe, did
not go to the local church of his choice, was a communist, had no rhythm, couldn't cook water and hated dogs.

Finally Gary Duane Vaughan with a deep lonesome breath, gazed across the room resting his eyes on a large erotic poster of his former
love. " You see I have nothing personal against the guy. Scarlett just can't see what she's giving up. I'll persevere. There are women
clamoring to be with Gary Duane Vaughan you know. Women every where. All types of women. Women. Women. Women!"

He rose from the stately chair where he had just held court and without a goodbye walked across the room and out the door singing quietly
a song by renowned crooner Gary Puckett.

He was singing, "Young girl get out of my mind. My love for you is way out of line. Better run girl. You're much too young girl." Gary Duane
Vaughan, singer, historian, professional talker, movie watcher closed the door behind him.

The end of another Hollywood romance? Or, is this another Elizabeth Taylor/ Richard Burton type romance where they can't be together, yet
they can't stay apart no matter what the cost.

The complex mind of Gary Duane Vaughan can only solve this mystery of love.

Lully Foofah, LSL Staff Writer
The Grand Finale of Vaughan v. Johansson
Epilogue
Johannson Reportedly Sporting Baby Bump
Courtesy of Aging Actor Sean Penn
Former Lover Gary Duane Vaughan Claims He Knows the Real Father
and "IT'S NOT PENN!"
Just moments before the LSL editorial
staff decided to put the Johannson/
Vaughan/ Penn Trifecta love swap to
rest it appears another twist has added
icing on this steamy romance cake.

Word has it from a reliable anonymous
source Scarlett Johannson is carrying
a bun in the oven. Most assumed it
was the work of aging actor Sean Penn.

When contacted for confirmation Penn
spit at the reporter but later apologized
blaming a loose tooth.

Johannson on the other hand
collapsed in tears upon being
questioned about the statements by
Vaughan that it was he who planted
the seed in her fertile womb.

Aging actor Penn attempted to stand in
defense of his young vibrant starlet
girlfriend instead choosing to sit and
complain about his shoes being too
tight.

Sources close to all three parties said
but the sacred act while at local
popular nightspot, the Lucky Star
Lounge."

Shortly after the sighting Johannson
was seen in Mexico with aging actor
Penn.
In the process the upset Vaughan
turned to thin shaky songbird Amy
Winehouse for comfort.

To further confuse the issue Vaughan
was seen in a vehicle with troubled
former actress Lindsay Lohan. Both
were wearing fake mustaches and
sunglasses to hide their identities to no
avail. When a local freelance reporter
asked Vaughan about the "baby
bump" Vaughan reportedly said", If I
am the father and I'm not denying or
confirming this news, I'll ask her to
move to Front Royal immediately. I
want to raise Dewey Jr to be a star."
Is she or isn't she pregnant?
Vaughan and Johannson during
happier times
"Most people in our really tight
circle of friends think Vaughan
was able to slide in at home
plate a few weeks earlier when
Vaughan and Johannson were
seen kanoodling in Front
Royal, VA locking lips and
doing practically everything
Aging actor Sean
Penn after receiving a
secret message from
the Stork
Aging actor Sean Penn
Dewey, front row center,
with members of his
music combo Eye Soar
Scarlett Johanssen
during happier times
with Vaughan