What should you do when on a pleasant Sunday morning cruise through the Kohl's parking lot you spot a Lincoln Continental engine running parked at an odd angle in the lane by itself? Story by LSL Staff Writer Glen Fiddich |
Normally you investigate the matter. My
first thought is something was definitely
wrong with the picture. I drove by circling
the vehicle alone smoke puffing out of this
gas guzzler's tailpipe.
I had to go look inside.
To my surprise a man lay across the
cigarette strewn front seat in a strange
contortion. His wrist was cocked at an odd
angle and his lifeless body was poured like
thick batter behind the steering wheel to
the passenger seat.
I looked for breathing.
I saw a small twitch of a finger then a
breath.
He was alive. An outstretched tattooed
arm gripped the end of a cheap
non-filtered smoke.
"Well," I thought", He could have had a
heart attack or collapsed into a diabetic
coma.
I checked the backed seat. It was stacked
with marginally folded laundry. The usual
stuff a single man would collect and wash.
After checking his car from all sides. I
made note of his license plate.
" Of course it was Maryland." I don't know
why I said that.
first thought is something was definitely
wrong with the picture. I drove by circling
the vehicle alone smoke puffing out of this
gas guzzler's tailpipe.
I had to go look inside.
To my surprise a man lay across the
cigarette strewn front seat in a strange
contortion. His wrist was cocked at an odd
angle and his lifeless body was poured like
thick batter behind the steering wheel to
the passenger seat.
I looked for breathing.
I saw a small twitch of a finger then a
breath.
He was alive. An outstretched tattooed
arm gripped the end of a cheap
non-filtered smoke.
"Well," I thought", He could have had a
heart attack or collapsed into a diabetic
coma.
I checked the backed seat. It was stacked
with marginally folded laundry. The usual
stuff a single man would collect and wash.
After checking his car from all sides. I
made note of his license plate.
" Of course it was Maryland." I don't know
why I said that.
I climbed back into my vehicle.
Should I call the authorities on this
unusual Marylander slumped suspiciously
in his front seat car a blazing.
This potential mistake waiting to happen
concerned me.
I called the police.
It took only a few minutes when I exited
from my shopping for beer, cheese and
toilet paper to scan across the parking lot.
There walking toe to toe surrounded by
three police cars and officers wobbled our
friend freshly awakened from his deep
slumber.
As I pulled past checking out the scene it
was obvious our victim was having issues
with the manual dexterity tests
administered by the officers.
The question presented to me was", Did I
do the right thing reporting this pile of
potential danger who could have easily
sprung up from his stupor thrown the car
into drive and in the process putting
innocent Kohl's shoppers simply looking
for extra savings into danger or should I
have set aside my concern for humanity
and allowed this man to sleep in his
running car risking a possible carbon
monoxide situation or to suffer from a
gargantuan list of dangerous physical
maladies?"
Should I call the authorities on this
unusual Marylander slumped suspiciously
in his front seat car a blazing.
This potential mistake waiting to happen
concerned me.
I called the police.
It took only a few minutes when I exited
from my shopping for beer, cheese and
toilet paper to scan across the parking lot.
There walking toe to toe surrounded by
three police cars and officers wobbled our
friend freshly awakened from his deep
slumber.
As I pulled past checking out the scene it
was obvious our victim was having issues
with the manual dexterity tests
administered by the officers.
The question presented to me was", Did I
do the right thing reporting this pile of
potential danger who could have easily
sprung up from his stupor thrown the car
into drive and in the process putting
innocent Kohl's shoppers simply looking
for extra savings into danger or should I
have set aside my concern for humanity
and allowed this man to sleep in his
running car risking a possible carbon
monoxide situation or to suffer from a
gargantuan list of dangerous physical
maladies?"
| 1. Drive around the suspect vehicle a couple of times then decide to go to Chipotle. 2. Ignore the car, park yours, enter Kohl's and pick up underwear at 30% off. 3.Call the police using a fake name just in case the guy is a relative to the Mayor. 4.Pay no attention to the car and go home like everyone else. 5. Tap on the window until he wakes up angry and disoriented. 6. Duct tape the car doors shut. 7. Decorate the vehicle to resemble a parade float. |
| What to do if you find this in a Kohl's parking lot |