It is no secret in mid-April the name of Pennsylvania United States Senator Arlan Spector caused quite a stir at the bar inside the palatial Lucky Star Lounge. Two local celebrities, Lance Rivers and Clarke Kent Minelli ( not their real names) came within moments of totally embarrassing themselves while engaged in a spirited discussion regarding the Democratic senator from PA. Rivers refused to speak in detail regarding the incident, but bystanders reported hearing Rivers referring to Specter as " Loose nut with the morals of a small drunken rat who has questionable ethics while dating two women at the same time'. ( Continue to Page 2) |
Local dog owner association the Don't Lose Your Dog Club has come up with a unique idea to keep an eye on your canine. Revenue from their monthly events will be donated to the national Save the Opossum Project also headquartered at the local Sixth street address. The plan involves painting your dog with a special glow paint the club recently purchased from an unnamed company in Belarus. Group spokesman Edward Kendricks told this reporter", We have tried this on our dogs and let me tell you it's like giant fireflies flitting around the yard at night. This stuff works great. " Asked if there are any side effects Kendricks stated ", The only issue I could see was the dogs lost all of their hair. We just painted their skin and they continued to glow like the full moon. You can see them in the night and never lose sight. I even read by my dog." The club will offer "Glow Paint for Dogs" every second Saturday at various parking lots throughout Front Royal for $100.00 per application. |
The Warren County River Surfing and Parachute Club is stepping up to the plate. The plan is to donate used parachutes to citizens of Oklahoma, Texas and Kansas as a safety device in event of a tornado. It is well known these states often must live through numerous tornadoes this time of year. Club President Theodore Pendergrass said ", We're encouraging the people of these states to simply put on the parachutes during the tornado and in case they are sucked up into the sky they can simply open the parachute and float safely home. We plan to donate our used parachutes as we can to the fine people of these states. They may need to do a little repair but we think this can save lives and reduce injuries." On another note the local chapter of the Front Royal Leg Weight Dance Team has begun accepting donations to purchase legs weights for citizens in Oklahoma to weigh them down during high winds and tornado events. Donations are accepted at the Sixth Street office. |
| Dust Up by Locally Famous LSL Customers May Have Caused U.S. Senator's Defeat in PA |
| Warren County " Don't Lose Your Dog Club" has Solutions for Pet Owners |
| Local Parachute Club Offers Donations |
