| A special feature by staff writer Newt Castle Al Kittle's Secret Exposed! |
Al "Tater" Kittle known and loved by Lucky Star staff
and patrons holds a secret only few know. Al's bravery
and concern for others like him has now caused him to
re-think his many years of cloaked thoughts.
After a recent Thanksgiving holiday trip to his native
Buffalo, where Al reportedly received the key to the city,
it was apparent that the time had arrived to reveal his
deep dark secret.
Kittle called together his close friends to make the life
altering announcement.
Allan "Tater" Kittle had been regularly abducted by
aliens. His recent episodes occurred just before the
Thanksgiving holiday. His alien abductors conveniently
dropped him at his former Buffalo home. Fortunately
for Al his was also abducted after the holiday and left
naked outside his apartment building.
Kittle confessed to his friends regarding a life long
series of abductions and returns by his alien friends.
He mentioned that on the large cigar shaped space ship
he now is married to three aliens females and has
fathered at least forty five hybrid children.
Asked who the children resemble Al described a cross
between himself, actress Kathy Bates with the
intelligence of Albert Einstein and Peewee Herman.
The aliens or as Al called them " The Other Guys" are
from a planet many million miles from earth. On their
planet Al is considered royalty. He even has an
interstellar trading card with his picture and a radio
show called "Outer Space Breakfast with King Al."
Kittle went on to say many times when we see him
behaving strangely it is an alien impostor sent to fill in
while he handles official ceremonial tasks on the planet.
Ask for the planet's name Al said ", If I told you the
name it could put earth in great jeopardy. Lets just say
it rhymes with Stupider and leave it at that."
As for other possible trips to the cigar shaped ship or
the planet that rhymes with stupider Al would only say",
Next time you see me acting strangely you can bet the
farm that I am actually sitting on my throne far far away
casting about their version of holy water, drinking the
local drink and probably planning on making a few more
hybrid Al's to donate to the universe while my imitation
Al drinks beer, plays darts and dances for money."
and patrons holds a secret only few know. Al's bravery
and concern for others like him has now caused him to
re-think his many years of cloaked thoughts.
After a recent Thanksgiving holiday trip to his native
Buffalo, where Al reportedly received the key to the city,
it was apparent that the time had arrived to reveal his
deep dark secret.
Kittle called together his close friends to make the life
altering announcement.
Allan "Tater" Kittle had been regularly abducted by
aliens. His recent episodes occurred just before the
Thanksgiving holiday. His alien abductors conveniently
dropped him at his former Buffalo home. Fortunately
for Al his was also abducted after the holiday and left
naked outside his apartment building.
Kittle confessed to his friends regarding a life long
series of abductions and returns by his alien friends.
He mentioned that on the large cigar shaped space ship
he now is married to three aliens females and has
fathered at least forty five hybrid children.
Asked who the children resemble Al described a cross
between himself, actress Kathy Bates with the
intelligence of Albert Einstein and Peewee Herman.
The aliens or as Al called them " The Other Guys" are
from a planet many million miles from earth. On their
planet Al is considered royalty. He even has an
interstellar trading card with his picture and a radio
show called "Outer Space Breakfast with King Al."
Kittle went on to say many times when we see him
behaving strangely it is an alien impostor sent to fill in
while he handles official ceremonial tasks on the planet.
Ask for the planet's name Al said ", If I told you the
name it could put earth in great jeopardy. Lets just say
it rhymes with Stupider and leave it at that."
As for other possible trips to the cigar shaped ship or
the planet that rhymes with stupider Al would only say",
Next time you see me acting strangely you can bet the
farm that I am actually sitting on my throne far far away
casting about their version of holy water, drinking the
local drink and probably planning on making a few more
hybrid Al's to donate to the universe while my imitation
Al drinks beer, plays darts and dances for money."
Buffalo, New York Skyline Home of Al "Tater" Kittle |
| Al Kittle receiving the key to the City of Buffalo, NY after his first Thanksgiving alien abduction and a day before another abduction. |
| Lucky Star Chef and Buffalo native Al "Tater" Kittle demonstrating a sacred dance originating from his home town. It is commonly performed while drinking beer. |
An artist's rendering of
Al "Tater" Kittle's ride.
Al "Tater" Kittle's ride.
Possibly the only Earthly
photo of Al Kittle's third
wife, Boolah Boolah.
photo of Al Kittle's third
wife, Boolah Boolah.