Arthur "Sporty" Dewhurst was born in Slippersdale, Tennessee October 6,
1931 to immigrant parents, Stella and Arthur Dewhurstamine. They
unintentionally shortened their name by accident upon entering the country
from their native Transylvania. Arthur, Sr. when asked his last name
promptly choked on a wad of tobacco during the answer after saying only
the Dewhurst portion of the name.

After the funeral Stella and the baby Arthur Jr. settled in Slippersdale, TN
where she met Rollover Turpin during a church revival. He adopted the
infant Arthur. Because of a speech impediment Rollover was unable to say
Arthur's name. He was, however, able to call him Sporty. In fact, Rollover
Turpin called everybody "Sporty" including his new wife Stella.

By age three Sporty Turpin was faced with a real dilemma. During a
domestic episode involving Rollover and Stella, Sporty made the decision
to accidentally pour rat poison into Rollover's cornflakes during another of
the regular family screaming arguments.

After the funeral Stella decided to take back the Dewhurst name after she
married Arthur's uncle and brother of his father, Graybill.
Although Graybill was twenty years younger than Stella the match was
perfect. Sporty loved him like a father. Sadly, Graybill met an untimely end
three years later when he fall into a vat of melted chocolate at the
Slippersdale Chocolate Candy Company.
In his honor a chocolate replica of Graybill was sold in the factory chocolate
surplus store.

Stella soon met Robinson Peeshaw. Their quick courtship surprised
everyone including Sporty.
Within three weeks of Graybill's demise Stella and Robinson Peeshaw
eloped to Niagara Falls, NY.
After a midnight trip to see the falls Robinson was never seen again. Stella
was arrested and convicted of first degree murder, but eventual released on
appeal after it was determined the prosecutor had withheld evidence,
namely Robinson's suicide note.

Stella was released and Sporty rejoined her after living with relatives in
Tuttle, Oklahoma for eight years.

By now the young strapping Sporty was very independent. He defiantly was
opposed to Stella 's newest husband, Dow Hemicall, He worked as a
sheep farmer.
Stella, Sporty and Dow lived in  relative rural peace outside Slippersdale
until it was discovered that Dow was having an affair, with one of his flock.

Stella divorced Dow and once again retreated to the safe confines of
Slippersdale.
The teenage Sporty made a decision. He caught a train to New York,
signed on to a ship crossing the Atlantic, made it to France and joined the
French Foreign Legion. He was stationed in the rugged sands of the
Sahara for twenty years.

After his stint Sporty returned to Slippersdale to find his mother had  
married four more times and widowed three.
Sporty worked in the chocolate factory for another eighteen years before
tragedy struck again.

At age 81, Stella with new boy toy husband Rex Von Rex were killed in a
skydiving accident.

Sporty walked out of the factory that day and kept walking. At age fifty four
he walked over the highways of America. Sporty Dewhurst ended his
journey in the Shenandoah Valley near Front Royal, Virginia.
He said", Once my feet hit the floor of the valley I sensed a euphoria I had
never experienced before. I was light headed and dizzy. Upon further
speculation I determined I was standing next to a Moonshine still and was
getting drunk off the fumes."

Sporty stayed. He married Lilith Don Breakfast. They had four children
together.
Chippy, Francois, BJ and Tad. Each child was given up for adoption to a
member of the Breakfast family shortly after birth. They knew Sporty as
"Unk" and Lilith as "Auntie  Poo".

Lilith passed away in a golfing incident in 1996. A errant golf ball flew off the
fairway after hitting a tree across a street down a sidewalk where Lilith was
walking. She slipped on the ball, hit her head and by Thursday Sporty was
dating.
The influence of Stella lived on. Sporty has enjoyed a similar record of
marriages since.

Now Sporty Dewhurst is the "Spokesperson" for the Lucky Star Lounge. It is
a position he is proud of and intends on representing the Lucky Star until he
is called "to be with the Lord".

He presently works part time as a writer for the new  Penthouse Junior
Magazine.

Thanks, Sporty for your commitment to the Lucky Star Lounge.

Story by staff writer Newt York
A Brief Profile of LSL Spokesperson Sporty Dewhurst, Jr.